


Unavailable Antagonist

by coplins



Series: Twisted Mirror'Verse [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Drinking, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Destruction, Smoking, mentions of past suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coplins/pseuds/coplins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The other lawyer rubs Lucifer the wrong way. He sees his chance to mess with him. Lucifer is 26 in this, ten years prior to meeting Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unavailable Antagonist

**Author's Note:**

> I forget to write it all too often, but a huge thanks to my beta Mizz_kitty21, for all the help!! You're fabulous. <3 :')
> 
> Second of all, you'll get the most out of this if you've read [Six Degrees of Separation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5624629/chapters/12955345). Plus Timestamp from Six Degrees of Separation, [One More Call](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5886943).
> 
> It's not necessary to have read either.

# Unavailable Antagonist

### Unexpected Truce

Luci hadn’t expected to run into _him_ here in Florida, when he’d accepted the invitation to one of his clients’ parties (cheap ass client - didn’t even have an open bar!). Charlie was out of town on a trip to Hawaii with her current girlfriend so he figured ‘why not?’ when the invitation came. It was a change of scenery after all, paired with a chance to get it on. The older lawyer is gorgeous. He’s good too. Not as good as Luci, but nobody is. Not really. Except Chuck Shurley. But he’s fucking _God_ so you’d have to forgive Luci for being unable to beat him. ( _Yet_ ). But Thomas Rainsborough though, he’s something else. One of the Beautiful People. But one that couldn’t be bought. Heart of gold and brimful of compassion for everyone, except people like Luci. Luci’s always been drawn to the good, and pure of heart, even if he resented them for judging him. Rainsborough and he had met in a couple of heated negotiations and two trials this far. Right now, Luci is pretty drunk, and feels like being a little shit. Why not mess with the straight, married, super Christian lawyer, standing by the bar smoking, looking hot and being totally unavailable?

He walks up to the bar, throws an arm around Thomas shoulders and gestures for the bartender to give them two drinks, before turning his head and directing a smirk at Thomas. “Thomas. Fancy meeting you here. Care to let me bum a cig off you?”

Oddly enough, Thomas doesn’t shake his arm off, nor display any greater discomfort at getting his privacy invaded like people usually do, which is irksome. He remains still, watching Luci with an expression of curiosity and suspicion. “Nick. I didn’t know you smoked?”

“Ah, yes. But that wasn’t the question, now was it?” Luci says with a shit eating grin. 

Thomas makes a little headbow with raised eyebrows and a half-shrug, as to concede to the point, then puts his pack of cigarettes and his lighter on the disk in front of Luci. The bartender puts the drinks in front of them and Luci pays, pushes one drink to Thomas, then takes a cigarette and lights it. He isn’t a smoker, but he’s not a non-smoker either. “What are you doing here? Come to gloat over your latest victory?” Thomas asks and pockets his cigarettes again.

“Not at all. I came here tonight hoping to get laid,” Luci says truthfully. 

“So why bother me? There’s a bunch of ladies over there,” Thomas gestures over his shoulder at the collection of sofas where most of the party goers are at, including some really beautiful women, “that would probably climb all over themselves to get to be with a rich, fit, conceited hotshot, like yourself.” He takes a sip from the drink Luci bought him, watching Luci passively.

Luci blows out smoke upwards and grabs his drink with the same hand as he’s holding the cigarette, to not have to remove his arm from Thomas shoulders. He takes a sip and side eyes the man with a faint smirk. “Because, I go for the best. And you are by far and wide the hottest person in here.”

Thomas nostrils flare and he looks away, sipping his drink again. Luci gets a little thrill out of making the man uncomfortable. There’s just something about Thomas that rubbed him the wrong way since he first laid eyes on the man. But... “You know I’m married, right? And homosexuality is a sin.”

“So is free will and seeking knowledge, or we’d all be living in Eden still,” Luci counters. He’s getting the wrong signals. Although he _does_ find the older lawyer amongst the most attractive persons in here, he came here to throw a passive aggressive fit about him being unattainable with his morals and good looks. Thomas isn’t reacting the right way. Not really. He’s relaxed under Luci’s arm, instead of tensing up like he should, and the tone he uses… Thomas isn't’ looking away, he’s scanning the perimeter for listeners. 

“Are you looking for dirt on me, Nick?” Thomas says, looking back at Luci, those brilliant blue eyes intense and searching.

“No. Not as such. I’m hoping to _be_ the dirt on you. That we can keep well hidden so it doesn’t come back and bites us in the ass, if your will. I don’t kiss and tell, Thomas,” Luci smirks and gives him a wink. Still fishing for that outraged reaction.

“It’s Tom.”

“Pardon me?”

“My name is Tom. In private. Or, at least, in the level of privacy you’re suggesting.”

He’s drunk, or it wouldn’t have taken him so long to figure out what was happening. Tom, isn’t straight at all, and is negotiating the terms of agreement. Luci is surprised, but quick to adapt to this fortunate turn of events. Luci takes another drag on the cig, he tilts his head and leans in close, blowing out the smoke against Tom’s neck, seeing goosebumps erupt. He turns his head so that his lips brushes the shell of Tom’s ear. “Your secret’s safe with me, and that’s a promise, Tom,” he whispers. “I always keep my promises. And my goal for the evening is to have your cock in my mouth, possibly in my ass too if you know how to prep well.” 

“Let’s go for a walk,” Tom suggests and dislodges his arm when he rises. He takes his drink along, so Luci follows suit and trails after him. They walk quietly along the beachfront, sipping their drinks as they go, then throw away their glasses in a trash bin on the way. Luci has no idea where they’re going until they come to a fancy hotel. They go in the back way from the beach, take a ride up the elevator to the top floor. Tom unlocks a door to a suit and invites Luci inside. “You’re not just doing this to set me up, are you?” he asks and locks the door. Stupid question. If he was he would hardly admit it. But Tom isn’t quite sober either, so maybe that’s what making him stupid. Luci shakes his head and Tom smiles. His whole demeanor changes, relaxes, gaze getting hungry. “Shit. You’re so hot it’s unholy.”

“Well my birthname _is_ Lucifer,” Luci admits, feeling vaguely uncomfortable and anticipatory at the same time, in face of the sudden switch.

“I bet it is,” Tom smiles and boxes Luci in against the wall. “I’ve been wanting to make love to you since I first saw you. But I can fuck you if you prefer that.”

It’s hardly the first time Luci’s gotten a random hook up for a night. He knows how to do that. But this still confuses him somewhat. Not the proof of the other lawyer being closeted, but why’d he’d go for Luci. Anytime they’ve met so far has ended with them trading (sometimes not so) covert insults and, quite frankly, being minutes away from a fistfight. “Both is good.”

And then he’s being kissed. It’s possibly the best kiss Luci has ever experienced up to this point. Fuck, the man can kiss! It fries his brain and puts his cock in high alert. Somehow they move from the wall to the bed, still kissing. “Fucking fuck. If this is all we do, I will die a lucky man. Fuck Tom,” Then they’re kissing again, but now it’s paired with grinding, and hands searching for ways to divest each other of clothes. 

“You exude such power, Nick. I've gotten high on watching you work. Been wanting to get you naked. Shit.” Tom sits up straddling Luci, and slowly unbuttons Luci’s shirt, looking for all the world like he’s discovering a treasure with every piece of skin he uncovers. “A lawyer shouldn’t be allowed to be this fit.”

It gets better from there. When Tom said he wanted to make love, rather than fuck, he meant it. Luci wasn’t sure exactly what the difference was. He’d made love to Lilith, but she’d never made love to him. It wasn’t slow sensuality that dubbed it lovemaking, it was something else. He felt that during this night with Tom, because Tom was so fully _there_ , with him. It felt fucking intimate, leaving him vulnerable, unsettled, and pathetically yearning for more. Of course, love had nothing to do with it. But it was a matter of connecting. Maybe it was all the eye contact? He never knew, could never put his finger on it.

Afterwards they lay smoking and looking out the big window overlooking the beach. “I thought you were straight,” Luci says, apropos nothing.

“So does my wife,” Tom replies.

“How big’s the chance of this happening again?”

“Do you want it to?”

“Yes, jackass. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t,” Luci snaps irritably.

“If you keep your mouth shut about it, I wouldn’t mind repeat performances.”

Tom has a tattoo over his chest. It’s a name, ‘ _Jessica_ ’, with a birth- and death date underneath, showing whoever she was died approximately eight years ago at the age of thirteen. Luci touches the tattoo. “Your daughter?”

“Yes.”

“How did she die?”

“Do you care?” It sounds like an accusation. Sharp and defensive.

Luci scowls, a bit hurt. He should be used to it. To the world, he has no feelings. He sits up and looks back out of the window at the sunrise, takes a drag on the cigarette. “I might.”

Tom is quiet. Luci hears him let out a deep breath, but doesn’t turn around. “Fire. Apparently caused by an damned tea light flaring, catching a curtain. Jessi was down in the basement to do laundry when it happened, and got trapped. No one else was at home.” Tom’s voice is flat and bitter.

“I’m sorry,” Luci says and means it. He turns around. “Would you tell me about her?”

“I just did.”

“No. I mean who was Jessi?”

Tom scrutinizes him for a long time, searching for something, smoking his cigarette. Once again he surprises Luci by speaking up. “She had turned thirteen a couple of months earlier. I guess she was like any girl that age, but she was the brightest point in my life. A real daddy’s girl who could wrap me around her finger with no effort at all. She was so happy and enthusiastic… aiming to become a nurse, badgering us about getting to take riding lessons, helping Noah, my son, with homework without being asked…” he squashes the cigarette in the ashtray and hands it to Luci, then bends over the edge of the bed to fish his wallet from his pants. He opens the wallet and takes out a photo that he hands to Luci. Luci takes a drag on the cigarette and studies the picture. The girl is blonde and beaming at the camera. A pretty girl with a sunny appearance. He can see the likeness to Tom in her.

Tom leans against his back, gives him a kiss on the neck and looks at the picture from over Luci’s shoulder. “At the time she had fallen in love for the first time. Some boy she had met who lived in the nearby motel. She went around smiling, skipping, and singing to herself. I know, as a father I should have been more stern about her meeting boys, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to forbid her when she was so damned happy about it. I never even got the chance to meet the lucky boy who won her heart.”

Luci hands the photo back and puts out his cigarette while Tom puts the picture back in his wallet. When Tom lays back down Luci flips over on his stomach, laces his fingers together over Tom’s chest, and rests his chin on them. “How did you survive the loss?”

“I didn’t. I really didn’t. I stopped functioning altogether. I know that as a man, and as a father, I should have been strong, kept the family together, support Grace and Noah. But I couldn’t.” Tom reaches out and cards through Luci’s hair. It’s getting long and probably should be cut again, but Charlie likes it this way. “The first months I was lost in complete darkness. Didn’t eat, didn't sleep, had no strength to get out of bed. Cried so much it's a wonder I didn’t bleed my eyes out. Grace was quiet and stoic. Took care of Noah when I couldn't. I'm pretty sure Noah’s as messed up as he is now due to my inability to cope. Tried to take my own life less than a year after we lost Jessi. Downed all the sleeping pills I'd been subscribed. He’s the one who found me.”

“I'd never would have guessed.”

“That’s kind of the point. Depression can't be seen on the outside. Afterwards I buried myself in work instead. And fought almost daily with Grace. I was convinced Jessi was taken from me as a punishment from God for being gay. I hadn't even acted on it by then. But I figured if I was going to hell anyway, I might as well.”

“You know why gays go to hell, right?”

“Why?” Tom asks tiredly, as he’s heard all the reasons too many times. 

“Because the devil prefers men and God's trying to find his most beautiful angel a boyfriend.”

Tom blinks at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. “Shit. That’s messed up.”

Luci hums. “It’s an explanation as viable as any. I don’t believe people go to hell for who they love. Hand me the lube. I'm going to fuck you this time and you'll keep talking while I prep you.”

Tom reaches for the lube without any protests. “Would you believe that giving into my attraction to men is what kept me from trying to take my life again?”

“I do, actually. I've experienced loss in my life too. Not by death, but loss all the same. When loneliness got too pressing a random hookup with a girl or a guy gave me enough fake sense of closeness to cope.” 

“Well I'm coping through sex, coke, and work. I've begun to hate Grace for not mourning Jessi enough. She probably did, _does_ , but I can't help it. That's why I keep the clients I do, to keep myself away from her. The money it brings, makes it possible to do good at the same time, and justifies my travels.”

Luci has crawled down to lie between Tom's legs, kissing his hips and the inside of his thighs while lubing his fingers up and circling Tom's hole. Tom pulls his legs up to give him better access. “Why are you telling me this?” Luci asks. He’s genuinely curious. A night of pleasure hardly erases the animosity between them, and doesn’t warrant the candid answers.

“Because you asked.”

“No, I mean why are you telling _me_ this?”

“Because you asked. Nobody ever asks, and if they do, they cringe from the answer. Or they tell me what I should be doing.”

“Mh. I don’t know what you should be doing, Tom. Nothing will bring your daughter back. I just want to know who you are, and you keep surprising me.”

“Maybe I want you to destroy me, and that’s why I tell you this,” Tom muses, closing his eyes when Luci slips his finger inside. 

It makes sense. The want to self-destruct, unable to do it oneself in the face of duty and guilt. It makes Luci sad. “Maybe I will. But don't count on it.”

Tom keeps talking until pleasure takes over, making it impossible to go on. When Luci sinks into him and bottoms out, waiting for Tom to adjust to the burn, he tells him “My birth name really is Lucifer, you know.”

“That’s oddly comforting…” Tom admits. 

When they share a smoke after their second round, Tom looks thoughtfully at him for a while, then says “I'm still going to call you Nick though.”

“Fair enough,” Luci answers with a faint smirk. And it is. Strange, that the person with the strongest Christian beliefs he knows, is one of the few ones not to make a big deal out of his name.

* * *

In the two following years to come this led to an ongoing clandestine affair, that Luci would prioritize even when he was dating someone. It didn’t matter. It was so draped in secrecy, it might as well not exist. It was somehow addicting. Tom and he fought a lot. _A lot_. Tom bought into the shit people said about Luci and Luci played up his assholery for that exact reason. And their fights… well they were part of what drew Luci back. Tom was pure and beautiful inside out, in a way Luci could never be. Aside from all the religious guilt bullshit that Tom toted around, that is. Luci liked angry sex. Angry sex happened every time Tom and he had met in a work setting. 

But more addicting was their meetings outside of that, because then Tom talked. Revealed to Luci every side of that beautiful tortured soul and told him things he didn't tell anyone else. He didn’t tell shrinks because that'd mean it'd go on records, and he didn't want his family to find out that he was gay or did drugs occasionally. So over the years, Tom told him about his super religious upbringing in a very strict and non-tolerant community centered around the church. How, when discovering his attraction to other boys, he’d met Grace and begun to date her to hide his “disease” as he called it. She’d become his closest friend and they’d married at eighteen. When Jessi was born, he’d refused to have her grow up in the same environment as he, so he and Grace had both broken with their families and moved to Cali. He’d accepted that he’d never be able to be with anyone he was sexually attracted to, but that was okay. By then he was married to his best friend, had a job he liked, and two wonderful children he loved more than anything. But then Jessi died and he wasn’t equipped to deal with it. He talked about everything, and Luci listened, asked a couple of questions now and then, and cracked some bad jokes when the mood got to heavy. Tom was the main reason Luci read every psychology book he could find, during this period.

It was a bit strange to Luci because they never really liked each other, as such. They were quite mean to each other except for those post coital moments in bed. Luci kept their affair secret from Charlie too. Not fully. He did tell her when he'd get laid, (she could see it on him the moment he set foot inside the door at home) but he told her his partner was married and she respected the secrecy.

Many years in the future Luci would wake up with a pounding heart in the middle of the night, and stare wide eyed at Sam, sleeping soundly beside him, struck by the realisation that Tom was father to Jess, _Sam’s_ Jess. He never told either of them about this realisation.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So let's straighten some things out. Most likely, Tom Rainsborough and Grace Moore Rainsborough , will always be Jessica Moore's parents in anything I write where she is present. Also, Tom is "played" by Michael Fassbender. Why? Because I said so. ;)


End file.
